100 things about me

I saw someone list 100 things about themselves, I'm going to try to hop on that bandwagon.

And here I go:

1) I read on the toilet
2) I have problems with my legs going numb on the toilet
3) This problem occurs after 15 minutes
4) I like Mac and Cheese from a box, made with Ranch instead of butter
5) I have a sister named Juliet
6) I have a dog named Madra which is Irish for Dog
7) Favorite sandwich: Ruben
8) I 'do' Medieval Combat, and like it
9) My father's name is Tadhg which is pronounced 'Taig'
10) My grandfather had both legs amputated due to poor circulation caused by smoking
11) I can't see the picture from those magic eye posters
12) I shattered a guys nose in Secondary School because he called me a name
13) My father was one of 13 children. My mother was an only child
14) I have a song from 'The Killers' in my head right now but I don't know it's name
15) As of last Wednesday, I'm an Entered Apprentice Mason
16) I would like to name a daughter 'Crimson', but my wife wouldn't
17) I was potty trained before 2 years of age
18) I'm the Emergency Coordinator for my facility
19) I have never gotten a ticket, but have been pulled over twice by the police. Both times I have been wearing my uniform
20) I was a scout in Ireland for 12 years
21) I went to the 19th world jamboree in Chile
22) I threw a rock at a homeless guy, but only because he threw one at me first
23) I find Monty Python funny
24) I find the Chuck Norris facts funny also
25) I convinced my principal in Secondary School to hang a post with all 100 Pokemon on it (when there was only 100 Pokemon)
26) I'm a little bit like Pinky and a little bit like the Brain
27) I watch cartoons
28) I have never said 'Candyman' into the mirror 5 times
29) I have my nipples pierced
30) I never broke any of my own bones or have anyone break them for me
31) My first 'girlfriend' was named Janet. I was 5
32) I like older women
33) I have written Charles Manson and have gotten a reply
34) I don't like eating meat off the bone
35) I've pee'd in the pool once
36) I was raised Catholic
37) When I was 4 I shitted in my pants and didn't like it
38) I have shoved chop sticks up my nose until they wouldn't go any further
39) I had a crush on Christina Ricci
40) Terry Pratchett is my favorite author
41) I was a bartender by the age of 13
42) <--- The meaning of my life
43) I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up
44) I am not a doctor and don't play one on TV
45) I was accepted into the University of Aberdeen to study genetics, but turned them down to move to Idaho
46) I once got a girl pregnant, but she lost it. In hindsight I consider that a good thing
47) I would like to think I could shoot another human being if it came down to it
48) 11 seems to be a recurring number in my life
49) I have never hired a prostitute or had one hired for me
50) I believe in monogamy
51) I once feed a squirrel chocolate chips for an entire winter
52) I don't regret anything I have ever done
53) I am not a citizen of the USA, but I have filed my papers to become one
54) I used to eat a lot of coco-peddles before I became lactose intolerant
55) I hate pickles and the juice of pickles
56) My 'battle name' in Belegarth is Necronos. I made it up
57) The bar I worked as a bartender during the ages of 13 - 17 was named the Tatler Jack
58) My nickname there was 'Fester' after Fester Adams. He was bald, I had long hair. Go figure
59) My favorite alcohol is Jameson's whiskey
60) I gave up alcohol when I turned 18, the legal age in my home country
61) In the war between ninja and pirate, I am a ninja
62) I am a Queen fan, but was too young ever too see them in concert
63) I have taken a dump in every country I've been in, even if I was only there for an hour
64) My dog Cailin's name is Irish for Girl
65) I onced memorized Pi to 50 placed, then forgot it
66) I have an IQ of 142 and think it is cool that it rhymes
67) I once ate an entire onion
68) I like the movie 'The 5th Element' and saw it twice in at the movies
69) I owned my own home since I was 21
70) I was also married at the age of 21
71) I don't have a vote, but if I did I would use it
73) I have swallowed over one Irish pound in coins.
74) I had an ingrown hair on my butt, and had it surgical removed
75) I wear sarongs in the summer time
76) I have smoked pot once, but didn't like it
77) If I shot the sheriff, I would shoot the deputy
78) My car's governor is set at 106 mph and that sucks
79) I can't speak Irish
80) I have created only one religion, it's called Julfeism. Ask me about it!
81) I am a High Priest of Gloron in my made up religion
82) Along with a friend of mine, I made up a language once, but I can only remember one phrase from it
83) I have shot and killed only ground squirrels
84) If I was a girl, my mother would have named me Sonja
85) My mother-in-laws name is Sonja
86) I like 'Father Ted'
87) I have never seen a ghost or an alien
88) I used to read 2000AD as a teen
89) I had long hair but had to cut it to become a Correctional Officer
90) I am uncircumsized
91) If asked, I'll tell people that The Edge from U2 is my uncle, he isn't
92) My favorite game is Pirates! Gold
93) I can believe it's not butter
94) My favorite joke involves two muffins
95) I want to be cremated if I die
96) I think midgets are cool
97) I think that I might be immortal, but am a little scared to check and see
98) If I could be an animal I'd still pick to be human
99) God likes me the best
100) I've smelled what the Rock was cooking

Oh my god, that was exausting... I hope you didn't actually read that entire thing!