Jeremapalooza

Slacking

2006-03-21T21:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, I've been slacking with the posts lately, but I have been really busy with a project for my realm Ebonhold. We are coming to the close of it and then we just need to sit back and watch the rewards. I would tell you all about it but it is still top secret!

Other than that, I just passed by proficiency as an Entered Apprentice Mason, which was really cool. And I've been watching a lot of Red Dwarf on DVD. For those who know what that is, then you know who smeggin' great it is. For those who don't, it is a Britcom show from the late 80's - 90's that is really funny if you like that sort of thing!

I'm also re-reading some of Terry Pratchett's books. So I'm into the whole Britcom thing lately. Which I didn't realize until just now. Despite any hereditary prejudice I may have for them, they do produce some funny material.

I won't promise that I will post regularly, but I'll try.

St. Patricks Day

2006-03-17T15:11:00.000-07:00

It's St. Patricks Day! The one of many days a year I get to listen to people tell me they are Irish. To celebrate it, I went to the kids classes and told them the story of St. Patrick and a few other mythology stories. About half way through the telling of the Patrick tale, I realized that it really is a crappy story. In a nutshell: Patrick was abducted as a child, sold into slavery, abused for many years, escaped, became a Bishop, returned to Ireland to teach Christianity. I'm kind of feeling a little worried that the kids are going to have nightmares tonight about being kidnapped and sold into slavery.

Other than that, I didn't do anything 'special'. I wore green to the talk this morning, but took it off once I got home. Wearing green is an American invention, along with green beer and corned beef and cabbage. And now I'm at work, being a typical government employee.

In Ireland right now, thousands upon thousands of my kith and kin are getting drunk off non-green alcohol, using the day as another excuse to consume as much booze as their bodies can safely and sometimes not safely contain. So, to one and all, Happy St. Patricks Day!

St. Patricks Day Ireland St. Patrick

Risk

2006-03-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

What is it with the game Risk that makes people so pissed off with each other?! I remember playing it with friends when I was younger and someone being mad at someone else for weeks, all because they were attacked and lost.

Last night, the whole family played Risk. It has been sometime since we have done this because of one kid or another getting upset, crying and leaving the table. We were playing a simplified version that my wife and kids came up with, it was a lot of fun. The boy was being a little too aggressive and spreading himself a little too thin while everyone was playing defensively. Despite our warnings, he was attacking everyone and so as a result was the target of everyone. He was being very lucky with his dice rolls and kept most of us at bay.

We were all having fun, slinging trash talk around the table. It wasn't until one of the boys continents was broken up before he became sullen. When another one was broken he started to cry and left the room. We played on, someone rolling for him. After a round or two he came back a little embarrassed at his outburst and played on.

After the time set aside was up, we tallied the score and my wife won. The first time she ever has at Risk. So congrats babe!

Risk Board Games Loosing

The World, Dubai

2006-03-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

I just typed out a long post about how I was going to win the lotto and buy a piece of the world. Then I would only allow people who were nice to me to come and visit me there. Of course the world I am refering to is The World, Dubai.

Pity my computer froze before I hit publish...

The World Dubai

Cold Sores

2006-03-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

It is not very often that I get them, maybe once every two years, but today I have a cold sore. It was slowly forming for the last two days, so I did what I usually do when something bad might happen. I hoped that it wouldn't!

I just googled home remedies for it and after wading through a lot of weirdness, I've selected one strange remedy for myself. Lysol. I'm going to soak a Q-tip in it and dab my face every two hours. Will it work? I have no idea, but I'll keep you all updated

Cold Sore Cold Sores Home Remedies

My dog

2006-03-09T08:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, the title is misleading since I have two of them, but for now I'm going to talk about Dog #1 aka Madra. First off, Madra is Irish for none other than... dog. So, I think I should earn a few dork points on that one. Getting back on track, she is a beagle/lab mix and if you don't know what that looks like, well tough luck 'cause I'm not posting a picture.

I'm blogging about her for the simple reason that she likes to sneeze on me, and this morning I finally got revenge. While I was surfing she came and stood right next to me, and since I'm a little sneezy this morning anyway, I thought to muster one up and let it ripe. Bam! Right in the her little up-turned expecting face. Then, an encore. Bam! Didn't even phase her.

That's it. My first post about a dog. No funny and cute little story about what she did or any of that happy horse shit. Just one of me sneezing in her face. I rock!

Dog Dogs Sneezing

A few very random thoughts

2006-03-06T17:03:00.000-07:00

I've been blogging for 17 days... I hate pop ups... I wish I had my own personal nuclear fallout shelter... I don't like 'crispy'... I keep getting emails for erectile dysfunctional pills and I don't know if I should take it as an omen or not... Memorization in Masonry is not as easy as it appears to be... my dog Cailin went to the vet today to get some shots... Lewis Black really is funny... In all the sci-fi flicks the aliens all have cool powers, what if when we finally encounter some other alien species it is use who have the cool power. Maybe opposable thumbs... I don't like driving behind slow drivers... I like Arby's... Did you ever imagine what John Lenon asked you too? I did... I'm going to have mashed potatoes for dinner. I really make good mashed potatoes... Who really says poTATo?... In all those competitions where someone becomes the best person at doing something in an area. Is it really fair to say that? What if not everyone in that area entered the competition?... Touching fish freaks me out...

Jon Stewart at the Oscars

2006-03-06T16:05:00.000-07:00

Jon Stewart is great. I love his work, his stand up, The Daily Show. Maybe he shouldn't act as much, but that isn't here nor there! He was fantasic when he ripped into the hosts of Crossfire and he was fantasic with all his quips last night at the Oscars.

The guy is a comic genius, no doubt about it. I've only watched the Oscars for two years, this one and last. And out of Chris Rock and Jon Stewart, I would say that Jon did the better performance. This might be because I like Jon's material more than Chris's, but then that is my opinion and this is my blog and I can say what I want!

Quick Note: What is up with Tsotsi winning best Foreign Pic? Paradise Now was sooo much better. I call Shenanigans!

Oscars Jon Stewart Chris Rock Tsotsi Paradise Now

Belegarth

2006-03-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

One of my passions is Belegarth Medieval Combat Society. It is a medieval combat group that uses boffers instead of Live Steel or Rattan sticks. A lot of people who hear about it at first are kind of bemused by the fact that we hit each other with "foam sticks". And rightly so, for that is what we do for amusement! But it is a sport, there are rules and right now as I'm writing this I am very sore from a long day of fighting yesterday.

Yesterday was my realms ( a realm is a group of people who fight in a certain geographical area)first practice of the year. And as all things go, it snowed and the wind blowed and it was cold. Friday was 52 degrees, all the snow was melts and the wind wasn't blowing. Today is pretty much like Friday. But we fought anyway. We begin the first week in March, rain, snow or shine. But more rain and snow than anything else.

The time to type out that last paragraph did nothing to alleviate my soreness, but I'm happy and looking forward to being sore next week. Does this explain anything about me?!

Inmate Profile #2

2006-03-03T11:31:00.000-07:00

When I worked in the Women's Prison, I worked with the only women in Idaho on death row. ( and since the guilty will remain anonymous, you will have to figure out who it is
here)

This one really makes you wonder about people. She is on death row for setting fire her own house while her husband and two kids were asleep. If that wasn't bad enough, it was strongly suggested that she was behind the death of her first child. The official cause of death was SIDS, the child was 18 months old. She is also suspect in the death of her second child, who was caught in a burning house with this inmate. The inmate managed to get out of the house, and sadly the child did not. She had 4 children, and not one survived.

Knowing all this just makes me mad. But in the course of my duties, I can't let it get to me or influence the way I interact and treat her. It was hard, especially when she was the most pleasant and nicest inmates we had. As a lieutenant once said "Death Row inmates are among the nicest people we have locked up, they just aren't fit to live in society".

She has been on Death Row since 1993 and the end is no where near sight. With the countless appeals, it will be a long time before she ever sees the inside of the death chamber.

Right now she lives in a 10 x 8 foot cell. It is a wet cell, so it has a toilet and running water. She can only come out to take a shower for 15 minutes a day and to use the recreation cage outside, which she rarely does. Her meals are served to her in her cell and the only real time she spends outside of it is when she makes a phone call 4 times a month. The only people she sees are officers and mental health people.

To many people the world over, she is an innocent victim. She has websites about her that list the terrible conditions she has to endure. So people take pity on her and write and send money. Last year alone she received over $4000. She can spend in on commissary items, such as snack foods, soda, hygiene products and some basic electronic items such as a radio, reading lamp and a TV. And still her websites say that she is poor and the state only provides her with a tiny bar of soap and one envelop a week.

Makes you wonder.

Fake Religion: Part 1

2006-03-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, out of boredom, I made up my own religion. Personally I think it is great, and a few of my friends are enjoying being High Priest/esses of the gods of my religion. And because it is completely amazing I'm going to share it with all you!

It is called Julfeism and if you follow that link you can learn a lot more about it. For right now though I want to let you all know about my gods and goddess of this new religion, so that you may know who to thank, or blame for the things in your life!

Gloron - the Head of the Gods and God of Sky, and the Heavens

Multjun - God of War, Warriors, and Killing

Klog - God of Crafts,Craftsmen, Chin Divots, and Pop-tarts

Hidiotunk - Hermaphrodite God/dess of Teabagging, Initiations, and Breakfast Cereal

Gung - God of Eating, Flatulence, and Pooping

Horgumph - God of Mischief, Passing out, and Vomiting

Foof - Goddess of Love, Sex, and Gropping

Moob - God of Men, Scratching, and Doing Stupid Things

Wooz - Goddess of Women, and Smelling Good

Kelch - Goddess of Hunting, All Animals, and Masturbation

Gookoo - God of the Sea, Water, and Pirates

Flornork - God of Earth, Fire, and Ninja

Thorm - God of Death, Change, and witty one liners

Punjoob - God of Agriculture, Food, and Caffeine

Hobunk - God of Falling Over, and dropping things

Julf - Father of the Gods, God of Drinking, and Alcohol

Marmik - God of Sloth's, Doing Nothing, and Un-participation

Fake Relgions Julfeism Priests Priestesses

Fallen

2006-03-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

Last night, my wife and I watched a movie called Fallen with Denzel Washington. It a nutshell it was about a detective hunting down a demon that can possess people by touching them. You should really watch it and not rely on my stupid summary!

It got me thinking. Imagine if there were demons on earth, possessing one person after another. Not the bad possession of heads spinning and projectile vomiting, but the benign one, where the demon 'hitches' a ride in you. Probably controlling you, but they pass on so quickly that you don't even know they were there. Does that scare you, knowing that they are out there and you can't stop them? It kind of gives me the chills.

So, if you have been possessed and know about it, seen another person possessed, or are a demon in a possessed body right now, then leave a comment and let me know of your experiences.

Fallen Demons Possession

Aliens

2006-03-01T09:02:00.000-07:00

My friend Ian always used to say, "I was abducted by Aliens when I was a kid. The took my to their planet. And left me here!"

Many years ago, when I was living in New York City, I would go and sit at a park along a busy street and 'alien watch'. I would look at the people who walked by and see if any of them looked strange enough and otherworldly enough that they could be actual aliens living on earth. I saw a lot of them. They were everywhere. I ran across strange looking people, but these were strange looking aliens. A lot like 'Men in Black'.

Now I Idaho where no-one walks anywhere but drives everywhere, I have lost that chance to observe the crowds. But what do you think? Are they here among us? Have you seen them?

Aliens Abducted New York City Idaho

Smoking

2006-02-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

My wife and I don't smoke and never had. She comes from a non-smoking family, I come from a smoking family. My grandfather who lived with us and my mother both smoked all my life. It was due to smoking related illnesses that killed my grandfather and my grandmother (but she died when I was three, so I didn't include her above). He had poor circulation due to the smoking and had to get both legs amputated, with around 15 years between each leg. It was the 5th heart attack that kill him.

All that was a lead in to this. When you don't smoke and are not around it very often, how sensitive are you? My wife is allergic to it, I'm just extremely sensitive to it. I can smell when a smoker has been in my house even if it has been awhile. I can also smell the smoke off myself when I've stood too close to a smoker.

In October, I'm going to Ireland for a vacation. My sister is a smoker now and is planning on picking me up. I've already talked to her about not smoking around me, I don't like it and want to avoid it where necessary. But alas, she is young and incredibly self centered still and says that if she picks me up in her car then she can smoke if she wants to. I know this, but I don't like it.

So, a question. Is it wrong for a non-smoker to expect for a smoker to not smoke around them?

Link to me!

2006-02-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

I think I am becoming an attention addict. I have a counter at the side of the page that's number is slowly getting big, but not fast enough. Some how I equate that number with people reading my blog and not just people surfing in and surfing right out again. I want that number to get bigger so I can pretend that a whole bunch of people are reading this and that some how I matter in their life. Or at least what I write matters.

So, as you can see, I went and signed up at a lot of blog directories and put their little buttons on my little blog. I really don't know what they will do for me since I didn't read a lot, just hit the button that said 'submit blog'. I guess I'm praying that means that tons of people are on their way to read this and be impressed.

I've even signed up with Technorati and am putting tags in my posts when I remember. But I don't even know what their are doing for me. I'm plugging them in there because I saw others that are plugging them in there. I don't even know that the blog I saw them on is read a lot or not, I just figured that I would blindly follow.

See, I'm becoming an attention addict.

Now I figure that if I share links with other bloggers, then the people who read their blogs will come and read mine. The only problem is that I currently link to 3 people. Myself, my wife who just started (but I think will have a huge following soon and knock me out of the blogosphere) and Rainy Pete who as far as right now goes, isn't linking to me.

If anyone out there wants to link to me, and in return have me link to them. Please comment and say so and do so. It would make me happy!

Illegal Immigration

2006-02-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have never been an illegal alien in this or anyother country. But I have known a few who were. I've learned a few things that they would do to make their continuing existence in this country a little easier. These methods of 'stealth emigration' were all done by people I knew and who were from Ireland.

1) Where an Irish person entered this country they receive a 'holiday' visa that allows them to visit the country for 90 days.
2) On arrival and with the holiday visa, you can get the Social Security office to issue you a letter that allows you to open a bank account and get a drivers license.
3) To open a bank account you need a Social Security number, unless you have a letter from the Social Security office stating that you are a visiting foreign national. Once the bank account it open (which requires a deposit), you can have them mail you your bank statement to your address. Usually a legal friends address.
4) Armed with the letter from the Social Security office, a bank statement, your passport and your Irish drivers license, you head down to the DMV to get a drivers license.
5) You go down to the airport with your holiday visa and give it to your contact there. They drop it in the box that all leaving holiday visa's are placed. As far as the Immigration is concerned, you've just left!
6) You go get yourself an apartment. When they ask for ID and all that jazz, you already have a previous abode (your friends place), a drivers license and a bank account. You get all the utilities hooked up and have them mail you the bills.
7) After a few months, you bank might start wondering why a Social Security number isn't attached to the account. So you close it.
8) You've already gotten a job that pays cash under the table so you've been paying cash or using money orders all the time, so there was never much need for a bank account anymore.

Now you're practically legal!

Immigration Ireland Visa Green Card

100 things about me

2006-02-24T18:43:00.000-07:00

I saw someone list 100 things about themselves, I'm going to try to hop on that bandwagon.

And here I go:

1) I read on the toilet
2) I have problems with my legs going numb on the toilet
3) This problem occurs after 15 minutes
4) I like Mac and Cheese from a box, made with Ranch instead of butter
5) I have a sister named Juliet
6) I have a dog named Madra which is Irish for Dog
7) Favorite sandwich: Ruben
8) I 'do' Medieval Combat, and like it
9) My father's name is Tadhg which is pronounced 'Taig'
10) My grandfather had both legs amputated due to poor circulation caused by smoking
11) I can't see the picture from those magic eye posters
12) I shattered a guys nose in Secondary School because he called me a name
13) My father was one of 13 children. My mother was an only child
14) I have a song from 'The Killers' in my head right now but I don't know it's name
15) As of last Wednesday, I'm an Entered Apprentice Mason
16) I would like to name a daughter 'Crimson', but my wife wouldn't
17) I was potty trained before 2 years of age
18) I'm the Emergency Coordinator for my facility
19) I have never gotten a ticket, but have been pulled over twice by the police. Both times I have been wearing my uniform
20) I was a scout in Ireland for 12 years
21) I went to the 19th world jamboree in Chile
22) I threw a rock at a homeless guy, but only because he threw one at me first
23) I find Monty Python funny
24) I find the Chuck Norris facts funny also
25) I convinced my principal in Secondary School to hang a post with all 100 Pokemon on it (when there was only 100 Pokemon)
26) I'm a little bit like Pinky and a little bit like the Brain
27) I watch cartoons
28) I have never said 'Candyman' into the mirror 5 times
29) I have my nipples pierced
30) I never broke any of my own bones or have anyone break them for me
31) My first 'girlfriend' was named Janet. I was 5
32) I like older women
33) I have written Charles Manson and have gotten a reply
34) I don't like eating meat off the bone
35) I've pee'd in the pool once
36) I was raised Catholic
37) When I was 4 I shitted in my pants and didn't like it
38) I have shoved chop sticks up my nose until they wouldn't go any further
39) I had a crush on Christina Ricci
40) Terry Pratchett is my favorite author
41) I was a bartender by the age of 13
42) <--- The meaning of my life
43) I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up
44) I am not a doctor and don't play one on TV
45) I was accepted into the University of Aberdeen to study genetics, but turned them down to move to Idaho
46) I once got a girl pregnant, but she lost it. In hindsight I consider that a good thing
47) I would like to think I could shoot another human being if it came down to it
48) 11 seems to be a recurring number in my life
49) I have never hired a prostitute or had one hired for me
50) I believe in monogamy
51) I once feed a squirrel chocolate chips for an entire winter
52) I don't regret anything I have ever done
53) I am not a citizen of the USA, but I have filed my papers to become one
54) I used to eat a lot of coco-peddles before I became lactose intolerant
55) I hate pickles and the juice of pickles
56) My 'battle name' in Belegarth is Necronos. I made it up
57) The bar I worked as a bartender during the ages of 13 - 17 was named the Tatler Jack
58) My nickname there was 'Fester' after Fester Adams. He was bald, I had long hair. Go figure
59) My favorite alcohol is Jameson's whiskey
60) I gave up alcohol when I turned 18, the legal age in my home country
61) In the war between ninja and pirate, I am a ninja
62) I am a Queen fan, but was too young ever too see them in concert
63) I have taken a dump in every country I've been in, even if I was only there for an hour
64) My dog Cailin's name is Irish for Girl
65) I onced memorized Pi to 50 placed, then forgot it
66) I have an IQ of 142 and think it is cool that it rhymes
67) I once ate an entire onion
68) I like the movie 'The 5th Element' and saw it twice in at the movies
69) I owned my own home since I was 21
70) I was also married at the age of 21
71) I don't have a vote, but if I did I would use it
73) I have swallowed over one Irish pound in coins.
74) I had an ingrown hair on my butt, and had it surgical removed
75) I wear sarongs in the summer time
76) I have smoked pot once, but didn't like it
77) If I shot the sheriff, I would shoot the deputy
78) My car's governor is set at 106 mph and that sucks
79) I can't speak Irish
80) I have created only one religion, it's called Julfeism. Ask me about it!
81) I am a High Priest of Gloron in my made up religion
82) Along with a friend of mine, I made up a language once, but I can only remember one phrase from it
83) I have shot and killed only ground squirrels
84) If I was a girl, my mother would have named me Sonja
85) My mother-in-laws name is Sonja
86) I like 'Father Ted'
87) I have never seen a ghost or an alien
88) I used to read 2000AD as a teen
89) I had long hair but had to cut it to become a Correctional Officer
90) I am uncircumsized
91) If asked, I'll tell people that The Edge from U2 is my uncle, he isn't
92) My favorite game is Pirates! Gold
93) I can believe it's not butter
94) My favorite joke involves two muffins
95) I want to be cremated if I die
96) I think midgets are cool
97) I think that I might be immortal, but am a little scared to check and see
98) If I could be an animal I'd still pick to be human
99) God likes me the best
100) I've smelled what the Rock was cooking

Oh my god, that was exausting... I hope you didn't actually read that entire thing!

The Klingon Language Institute

2006-02-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

Ahh, Klingons. They were the yellow guys with the funky eyebrows in the original Star Trek and the brown guys with the funky forehead in Star Trek:TNG. They were angry, they were mean and they had a funny language. Not to be out done by a bunch of aliens, some humans who have already mastered the angry and the mean are now mastering the funny language of Klingon.

I know I've missed the bus by a few years or more, but I find this stuff interesting to say the least. Of course I am the guy who knows a few words of elven! So, if you are a little bored or looking for a new language to learn, point your browsers towards the Final Frontier and learn more over at The Klingon Language Institute.

Tell them I said "nuqneh!"

Klingon Star Trek Language

Inmate Profile #1

2006-02-21T16:24:00.000-07:00

During the course of my job, I come across some interesting people, or more at least people who did interesting things. Of course, I am not condoning crime I just find some crimes and criminals a curiosity. In this article and in other articles with the same name (and a different number!) I'm going to highlight these people and their crime.

(The names have been changed to protect the guilty)

Credit Card Fraud

This inmate was transferred from another facility where I know a few of the Officers. I heard that he had committed credit card fraud with hundreds of cards and made away with a few million before being caught. So I asked him about it.

He said that him and a few buddies were getting people's social security numbers and applying for credit cards. One of them worked at a bank and so had access to people's info. They would then go online and fill out all the information but use an address at a Mail Boxes Etc. They used that place since they could get a few different boxes, it would sign for any delivers and anyone with the key could go make a pick up.

With the credit card in hand and armed with the PIN for cash withdrawal, he would go get as much cash as that card allowed, anywhere from $250 - $500 a day. Times that by 50 or 60 cards and you can see the pay off. He said that after 30 days the bill would be mailed to his address and after 60 the credit company would get suspicious and freeze the account. He would just toss the card and get some new ones.

Apparently the problem with all this was coming up with ways to spend the money! He couldn't put it in the bank because it would be red flagged. He couldn't buy big ticket items because that too would be red flagged. Gambling was fun though when you had a duffle bag full of cash.

After he got caught though and with the plea bargaining he got 6 - 18 years and owes over $20,000 in restitution. Final word: "It wasn't worth 6 years"

Credit Card Fraud Inmate

Spell Checker

2006-02-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

It's odd that the spell checker supplied by Blogger doesn't recognize the word 'blog', or 'blogger' for that matter. I wonder why that it.

Haiku

2006-02-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

Here are a few haiku's that I made up right now:

I'm writing a poem
Japanese in form and verse
It is a haiku

Jeremapalooza
It is a witty blog name
Does it sum me up?

Blogging is great fun
People read the shit I write
I'm really sorry

This is getting old
It did not take very long
Good night vietnam

Haiku Blogging Poetry

Pink Lemonade

2006-02-19T21:12:00.000-07:00

Somewhere in the region of summer 2004, my wife decided to give up soda. Being a supporting husband I gave it up too. Boy, what that fun. When you had a 2 liter a day habit for your entire life the stuff is kind of part of you. A big part. So when my body didn't get it's hook up, it played hardball. The grandmother of all headaches ensued and the DT's set in. Not pretty.

Three days later I emerged a new man. No more caffeine addiction (I was never a coffee person), no more 2 liters of soda a day, I was clean. So that kind of left me up shit creek in the beverage department. What was I going to drink now? Water?! With no flavor?! No thanks! I turned to lemonade, pure hardcore lemonade. The pink kind. Because I'm not a goblin (more on that later)

So now I was back on the smack. The sugar smack. But no caffeine. Life was good and still is good. I buy my lemonade in powder form, mix it myself, let it chill in the gallon jug and bam! I'm set.

Now back to the goblin thing. To a goblin humans are pink. Black, white, red or yellow; a human is pink. Of course goblins are green. Big, small, ugly or dumb; a goblin is green. Since there are only two official kinds of lemonade, pink and yellow, there has to be a divide. Humans take pink and goblins take yellow. That is how it is, don't argue. So unless you have no pride in being human pink lemonade is what you should be drinking. If your thinking to yourself, "I'm a goblin and there is no way I'm drinking pink lemonade", then get the hell of my blog, your not welcome.

Lemonade Soda Goblins

Pictures of Cats

2006-02-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

Why is it that there is a lot of blogs out there with pictures of cats on them? The last few days when I've been 'Next Blog' buttoning around I've been running into a bucket load of cat pics. Weird. I'm going to take a stand and make a promise never to post any pictures of cats on this blog, or any other blog that I might post on. In saying that, I have no cats. The last time I've come close to 'having' a cat was in 1999 when my folks had one. But that was in another country and I never liked it to begin with.

What I do have though are two dogs, Madra and Cailin. Madra is a Lab/Beagle and Cailin is a Australian Shepard/Collie/Spaniel. And I'm going to take a stand on that as well. There are not my babies, I don't treat them like people or children (who are also people!). I probably won't post pictures of them, but I'm not promising anything on that one!

If you are a cat person, or more relevantly a person who posts cat pictures; WHY?!

Cats Dogs Pictures

Acceptable language

2006-02-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

While walking a tier at work, I passed an inmate walking towards the bathroom with a roll of toilet paper in his hand. Another inmate asked him where is was going. The reply was this: "Going for a poop, fuckhead. Want to hold my hand?" Which got me thinking. Why did he use the milder cuss word of 'poop' and then go with the harsher 'fuckhead'? It struck me as kind of funny.

Thus began a train of thought... What are acceptable cuss words in society now? I've heard crap, bitch and dick on the radio/tv, so I guess if the FCC lets them slide then they are ok. Right?! What do you think?

Language FCC Cuss

BloginSpace.com

2006-02-18T15:42:00.000-07:00

So I saw a little button on another site for www.bloginspace.com, surfed over there and found out that these guys are claiming to be beaming blog streams into space. Well, if others are doing it I'm going to do it. So now that I'm signed up, it seems that any aliens that are picking up signals from earth will have me to contend with, along with old 'I love Lucy' reruns.

But that got me thinking. Since SETI has all those radio telescopes pointing out towards the 'final frontier' what if they started to pick up feeds from the aliens! What if mankinds first contact with an alien civilization was from some alien kids blog?! First off, I think those who found it would presume that it was an important communication from the alien civ's government or something along those lines. I can see that after spending a ton of time and money trying to translate the communication they finally crack it, only to have it read - "Today, Snerklebark said that he didn't want to be my vaarlabig anymore. It just broke my chest pump. I hate him. I cried my eye out all planetary rotation. I hope a klibbilok beast rips his tentacles off and stomps him to pus."

Maybe they already found this, but has hushed it due to embarrassment. Or maybe they are waiting to find out the fate of Snerklebark before releasing it to the public. Time will tell!

SETI Aliens BloginSpace

Top 10 Reasons to Eat Oatmeal

2006-02-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I found out the hard way that I was lactose intolerant. This came a huge surprise since I've been consuming dairy products by entire life. It also was an equally huge disappointment for I now had to change my diet. Instead of eating a big bowl of cereal two times a day I had to switch to oatmeal. That was difficult. Oatmeal wasn't coco-pebbles.

After a few mishaps with the preparation, I finally got making it down. A cup of oatmeal, a cup three quarters of water, two and half minutes in the microwave and three tablespoons of sugar. Yum!

Now here are the top 10 reasons why you should eat oatmeal:

1) Plenty of soluble fiber to remove cholesterol
2) Same fiber helps to clean out the ol' bowels
3) Oatmeal makes you heart healther
4) Eating oatmeal makes you cool
5) Oatmeal eaters will inherit the earth (says so in the bible)
6) The Quaker on the box will come kill you if you don't
7) You'll always have plenty at hand to soak up the alcohol in someones stomach it they had a little to much to drink
8) Rumor has it that Chuck Norris eats oatmeal
9) Jesus Loves You (only if you eat oatmeal)
10) Because I said you should, and you should do as I say

There you go. Now go eat a bowl...

Oatmeal Quakers Jesus

Wikipedia

2006-02-18T08:59:00.000-07:00

Ever since I discovered Wikipedia my addiction to it has grown in leaps and bounds. I can't get enough of it. It is part of my morning ritual of checking sites on the internet. If I can't think of anything to look up, or is nothing on the home page catches my interest, I'll just click the 'Random Article' until something that does interest me pops up.

I tried to be one of those people who added content to it, but that soon got boring. I wanted to learn, not teach! I know that since it can be editted by anyone that the info might not be totally accurate so I take it with a grain of salt. I've even tried to read it in a language that I couldn't speak, but one that I had 'learned' in Secondary school. Nope, that didn't work out to well.

Well, go check it out if you already haven't... Wikipedia

Wikipedia Addiction Ritual

Next Blog

2006-02-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

At the top of this page on the right hand side is a button that really intrigues me. It's the Next Blog button. I've always seen it but I never had the courage to see where it would take me. Until now. Today, I consider myself a blogger, a completely bonafide I-have-a-blog-and-use-it blogger, so I clicked it.

Wham! I went to a new blog. It was in a language I didn't speak (which is to say every language other than English), so I clicked it again. Wham! That blog sucks, so I clicked it again. Wham! Another language I didn't speak or it could have been the same, I really don't know. After spending sometime surfing through the blogosphere this way I realized that there are quite a few blogs out there by people who are blogging in another language than English. This probably obvious to some people but I've never thought about it before.

I wonder what they are saying. Not some much that I'm willing to go find out. I'll stick to just wondering for now.

All this got me thinking. Who actually reads all those blogs out there? Who is actually reading my blogs? So why don't you post a few comments to let me know who you are, if you have a blog post the link. I'll read yours if you read mine! I'll even post some comments on your blog too. That way we can both feel important because someone we don't really know is reading what we are spewing out there, and talking about it!

YourCongess.com

2006-02-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

I found www.yourcongress.com a few days ago, and it is awesome. Go check it out. Basically, it teaches how congress works, who your representative are and how to get hold of them. They have a feature where they will email you with details on what your representatives are up to, what bills they voted on, what they said on the floor, etc. So no more two faced politicians saying one thing at home and doing another in Washington. Well, I don't really know if they are being two faced. I would like to think that they are just so I can catch them doing it and say 'Ha, I caught you. You've validated my pre-conceived image of a two faced politician'.

Since I'm not a citizen of the USA, I don't have a vote and so I don't know why I really care. But I do! Soon I'll be naturalized and start flexing my voting power and then Washington will quake with fear... or not!

Crazy closed custody calamity

2006-02-17T15:02:00.000-07:00

The state of Idaho, through the Department of Corrections, employs me as a Correctional Officer. But you already knew that from reading my profile! I have to say that despite what the above link would lead you to believe, it really is a fun job.

(Note: I'm a Correctional Officer and NOT a Prison Guard. Prison Guards stand on walls or in towers with rifles to shoot at the inmates. Correctional Officers work in the trenches with and surrounded by inmates. Very often there is little to nothing between us and them, plus we do it alone and unarmed.)

I used to work at PWCC (Pocatello Women's Correctional Center), a multi-custody prison for (you guessed it!) women. Last October I transferred to IFCWC (Idaho Falls Community Work Center for men). After working with both men and women inmates in my career I have made some observations:
1) Women inmates are freakin' crazy. They do the strangest things without any rational reasons. 2) Women inmates are insane.
3) Most women inmates are out of their minds.

An example: When I worked in the Close Custody Unit (Maximum security) at PWCC the mail would have been searched and read the night before. It was one of my duties to pass out the mail, but only at my convenience. The inmates were never allowed out all at once, only a few cells had time out while the other cells were locked down. It rotated every 2 hours. Well, the first group asked me for their mail, but I was busy and so told them I would hand it out later. So, they asked again, and once again I gave them the later answer. So they asked again, and I answered again. So they asked again and I told them I would hand it out later. So they asked again. I'm not exaggerating. Eventually they went back to their cells and the next group was left out. They asked for their mail, I was busy and so I told them I would hand it out later. They told me that I was violating their rights and that they would sue me for denying their mail. I told them I would hand it out when I wasn't busy. They told me that their would write to the Warden and that I would get in trouble for withholding their mail. Again I told them I would hand it out later. I was then informed by a few inmates that the 'other' officer handed out their mail by now and that he was nicer and that they hated me. I thanked them for the information and ignored the comments about hate. They eventually were locked down and we counted them. While my Shift Commander walked the tiers counting with me. She was told by every inmate that I was withholding mail and that they were going to sue her because of that.
By the end of my shift, everyone who had mail received it.

When I came to work at IFCWC, I was approached and asked to hand out mail. I told the inmate that I was busy and that I would hand it out later. He thanked me for my time and waited until later when I handed out the mail!

Hence, women inmates crazy. Men inmates not so crazy.

I don't think we are in Kansas anymore

2006-02-17T12:06:00.000-07:00

To a lot of people, I'm 'weird'. This is probably due to the fact that these people see the things that I do as 'weird'. A quick look at www.dictionary.com and their definition of the word:
weird
adj. weird·er, weird·est
Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange.

Ahh, I see. I fail to fit neatly into their preconceived notions on how I should act and therefore am strange, odd or unusual! I get it. I'm labelled. Awesome!

Now that I've that figured out, I'm going to explain why I feel the need to ramble on about nothing really important and post it for the world to see. Well, in a nutshell, I started a blog in January chroniclling my journey into Freemasonry. I feel like it is going good. I discovered that I like 'blogging', but I felt that I pigeonholed myself with that blog (jeremosphere.blogspot.com) by only talking about Masonry. I decided that I will create a new blog and ramble on about everything else in my life.
To recap:
1) This is a blog for my ramblings
2) That is a blog for my Masonic ramblings
3) There might be some crossover

If someone is actually going to read this, then great. Leave me a comment. Say somethin whether you agree with me, you disagree with me or you just think I should shut the hell up and stop filling the web with useless crap. Tell you friends about me, have them read this blog. If everyone pitched in, we can have a whole lot of people reading my posts, commenting and telling even more people about jeremapalooza. Now that would be weird!